You know you need to do the thing.The laptop is open. The email needs answering. The washing needs putting away. The form has been sitting on the kitchen table for six days.You want to get started. Yet, somehow, you just don’t. Instead, you make another coffee.Check your phone.Think about starting and feel increasingly guilty for not already starting. Telling yourself that you absolutely MUST start now. But remain exactly where you already were.
For many people with ADHD, this experience can be intensely frustrating but common, known informally as ADHD paralysis.One surprisingly simple tool may help some people finally get moving called body doubling.
No, it doesn’t involve hiring somebody who looks vaguely like you to attend meetings on your behalf (although there are days when that would really be useful). It simply means having another person present whilst you get something done.For some people with ADHD, that presence can make a significant difference.
What is ADHD paralysis?
ADHD paralysis isn’t a formal medical diagnosis. More a term people commonly use to describe the feeling of becoming stuck when trying to begin, prioritise or complete a task. People can view this as procrastination from the outside. In reality, it can feel very different.
You may genuinely intend to start, completely understanding the consequences of not doing something. Spending considerably more time worrying about the task than it would have taken to complete it.Yet translating “I need to do this” into “I’m doing this” can feel surprisingly impossible.
ADHD is more than just an Attention and Hyperactive disorder. It also involves difficulties with executive functions: the cognitive processes involved in planning, organising, maintaining attention, controlling behaviour and initiating purposeful action. Most of the time the real difficulty isn’t knowing what to do. It’s getting your brain across the starting line.
Why can starting tasks feel so difficult with ADHD?
Imagine somebody telling you: “Just get it done”. Perfectly sensible advice. Unfortunately, if “just doing it” were working particularly well, you probably wouldn’t be reading an article about ADHD paralysis.
Tasks can become especially difficult when they are boring, repetitive, complicated, emotionally uncomfortable or lacking an immediate reward.
Sometimes there are too many possible starting points, for example:
Sorting out the spare room ,turns into cleaning the cupboard first, then finding unorganized paperwork which reminds you that a policy needs renewing. Twenty minutes later your standing in the kitchen searching your emails and wondering what on earth happened
Perfectionism can also play a part of the problem. If something feels as though it needs to be done properly, starting can feel disproportionately difficult. The task grows in your mind until it becomes something you need the right amount of time, energy and concentration to tackle. That perfect moment never quite arrives.
So, what is body doubling?
This is where body doubling is some people’s saving grace. Body doubling is wonderfully uncomplicated. You simply arrange for another person to be present while you work on something. They don’t necessarily need to help you, supervise you, or be doing the same thing.
You might sit at the kitchen table paying bills while your partner reads. You might work on a report while a colleague works quietly beside you. You could video-call a friend while you both tackle jobs you’ve both been avoiding. The other person is simply there. Just existing in the same space as you. It can be used for almost anything.
Why does this work?
We don’t yet have enough research to say precisely why body doubling works for some people. There are, however, several plausible reasons.
It creates a clear starting point
“Sarah is coming over at 10am and we’re both doing admin for an hour” creates a concrete starting point for yourself rather than telling yourself “I’ll start this task at some point today”. It reduces some of the mental negotiation involved in getting started and creates accountability.
It can reduce distractions
When we’re alone, it’s very easy for attention to wander unnoticed. One minute you’re replying to an email. The next you’re reading an article. Then you’re checking something vaguely related to the article and suddenly 2 hours have passed.
Having another person quietly working nearby can provide an external cue that reminds you what you’re supposed to be doing.
It makes unpleasant tasks feel less lonely
Some tasks simply feel nicer when somebody else is around. Think about the difference between cleaning your house alone and cleaning while chatting to somebody. The cleaning hasn’t changed. The experience of doing it has.
Body doubling may make a dull, frustrating or overwhelming task feel a little easier to tolerate.
Sometimes changing the environment is more effective than fighting yourself
One of the most useful lessons in managing ADHD is that productivity doesn’t have to look the same for everybody. Perhaps you work better in a café than a silent home office, or with music, or timers. Perhaps breaking a task into ridiculously small steps works. Perhaps having another human being quietly sitting nearby is the thing that gets you started.
The aim isn’t to prove that you should be able to do something without support. The aim is to understand what helps you do it.
Could ADHD be affecting your everyday life?
If difficulties with concentration, organisation, procrastination or task initiation are having a significant impact on your everyday life, understanding why is an important first step.
At the Dr Jenni Clinic we believe that good healthcare begins with listening properly to the person in front of us. If you’re considering an ADHD assessment or would like professional advice about your symptoms and the options available to you, please contact us, we are here to support you.
The goal isn’t simply to put a label on how you feel.
It’s to understand what’s happening and find strategies and support that genuinely make everyday life easier.
